dhyana81
Member
Reged: 08/31/09
Posts: 387
Loc: Central PA
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Hi all,
I made the mistake of memorializing my husband's facebook page, not realizing when I did it that this would mean that the 'about me' section would disappear completely and I could no longer log in under him, which means all the e-mails are completely gone. I e-mailed facebook, and they sent this reply:
Our policy for deceased users is to memorialize the profile once we are notified of their passing. Unfortunately, we are unable to revert this process or grant you access to this account. This is strictly for privacy reasons. Thank you for understanding.
Please, ONLY do this if you are unable to log into the account and don't want people friending your spouse or sending messages not realizing s/he has passed. Please, let anyone you know know this. Please don't make the same mistake I did!!!
Renee
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Pete... Dec 18, 1976- July 11, 2009.
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One. --City of Angels
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Invicta
Member
Reged: 09/01/09
Posts: 76
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Anyone can reqest memorialisation this happened to me.
My former sister in law requested it, if it happens before you have set your status to widow then you can't do this you have to set yourself to single.
Facefuck are exceedingly rude about it to. I got an email that said "Sorry for any inconvenience".
So don't think that just because you are their legal next of kin that this counts for anything ABSOLUTELY ANYBODY can request it and they don't warn you the spouse.
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Took his own life 10th July 09
Heart like a gabriel, pure and white as ivory
Soul like a lucifer, black and cold like a piece of lead
Misguided angel, love you til Im dead
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wjoy
Member
Reged: 05/08/09
Posts: 1190
Loc: NY and MA
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That is good to know
thanks,
Wendy Joy
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mokie
Member
Reged: 05/04/09
Posts: 3412
Loc: Kansas
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Quote:
Anyone can reqest memorialisation this happened to me.
My former sister in law requested it, if it happens before you have set your status to widow then you can't do this you have to set yourself to single.
Really? They're controlling who can set their status to "widow"??? Wow.
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Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you I have been changed for good.
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Invicta
Member
Reged: 09/01/09
Posts: 76
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Quote:
Quote:
Anyone can reqest memorialisation this happened to me.
My former sister in law requested it, if it happens before you have set your status to widow then you can't do this you have to set yourself to single.
Really? They're controlling who can set their status to "widow"??? Wow.
Yes - they prevent you from selecting that status even if you were "married" when the memorialisation occured.
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Took his own life 10th July 09
Heart like a gabriel, pure and white as ivory
Soul like a lucifer, black and cold like a piece of lead
Misguided angel, love you til Im dead
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mokie
Member
Reged: 05/04/09
Posts: 3412
Loc: Kansas
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Geez. How do they know who was married to the person? I'm thinking of those of us whose spouses didn't even have a facebook page. I have my status set to "widowed" but how do they know I'm widowed? Will they start preventing us from selecting that? Seems like they are taking kind of a "Big Brother" approach to this.
I guess I don't get why it's their business to control who can set their status to "widowed". 
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Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you I have been changed for good.
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Borealis
Member
Reged: 03/28/08
Posts: 5997
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Yes, its better to start a NEW FACEBOOK Page In your DHS name In Memoriam - and cut and paste the info over. List yourself as the administrator and you retain control over the new site. Just FYI.
I think this auto memorialization policy of Facebooks is not only harsh and rude - but its unacceptable if anyone can request a memorialization. Thats ridiculous. If the spouse has the log in, password and secret questions -or whatever- they should get the ownership of that site.
I get kinda cranky and stubborn over things like this - so what I WOULD DO IF I WERE YOU is to start a new Facebook page for a business or team or whatever the option is that lets FANS join - and title it FACEBOOK IS MEAN TO WIDOWS. Write your story on the front page and start sending it out for people to become FANS of. Send it to everyone you know. Heck, post it here. With enough angry users and bad press, they'll get the picture.
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"...I'd trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday..." KK via Janis Joplin
505 thank you, honey bunny.
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jenniferb2
Member
Reged: 11/03/09
Posts: 39
Loc: IL
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I didn't even know you could change your status to "widow". Mine says married still b/c I haven't had the heart to change it to single! I don't want to be single or a widow, but here I am!
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Jennifer
Brent-Loving Husband and Dad
11/16/72-12/26/08
dx stage IV colorectal cancer 5/14/2007
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dhyana81
Member
Reged: 08/31/09
Posts: 387
Loc: Central PA
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I think that this is a new area of law. Who legally owns someone's virtual life when they die? Pete had a will, he left me his entire estate, shouldn't that include his virtual life? Isn't getting rid of his facebook e-mails the same as someone burning a diary of his, that would legally belong to me (privacy issues about whether I should be reading it aside)? I am wondering how this works. I think that the memorializing would only work if no one had the user's password. It is an interesting thing to think about, though.
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Pete... Dec 18, 1976- July 11, 2009.
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One. --City of Angels
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quantumleap
Member
Reged: 02/02/09
Posts: 147
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What I've been wondering, reading this thread, what do the facebook terms of agreement say about anything about ownership and such? (I do not have a facebook account)
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Borealis
Member
Reged: 03/28/08
Posts: 5997
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You can read the full terms of service by clicking on the TERMS link at the very bottom of your page.
I found this interesting:
"We will provide you with tools to help you protect your intellectual property rights. To learn more, visit our How to Report Claims of Intellectual Property Infringement page.
If we remove your content for infringing someone else's copyright, and you believe we removed it by mistake, we will provide you with an opportunity to appeal. "
Maybe you could look into this -
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"...I'd trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday..." KK via Janis Joplin
505 thank you, honey bunny.
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just_me_1963
Member
Reged: 12/01/06
Posts: 3692
Loc: southern IL
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I set my status to widowed and Ken never had a Facebook account.
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~ Dawn ~
Cherish yesterday, dream tomorrow, live today...
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mokie
Member
Reged: 05/04/09
Posts: 3412
Loc: Kansas
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Quote:
I set my status to widowed and Ken never had a Facebook account.
Yeah, me too. But these people who have had their spouses' pages memorialized are no longer able to change theirs to widowed. What's up with that? Why does "memorializing" a spouse's page prevent someone from changing their own status to widowed? I don't understand that part. Who knows who is connected to whom? And if they were both listed as each other's spouses, again, why can't they change it?
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Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you I have been changed for good.
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MissingMyMonkey
Member
Reged: 06/02/09
Posts: 546
Loc: Washington
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Wow, good info! I am shocked.
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Bryan 7/11/62-2/21/2009 Lost without you
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laureltree
Member
Reged: 02/08/09
Posts: 1042
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Wow... I think I will just delete DH's. He hadn't really started it, and I don't want anyone memorializing it.
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The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.
Ivy Baker Priest
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nobodybutme
Member
Reged: 01/06/09
Posts: 275
Loc: Australia
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Now I'm really paranoid. Scott's siblings wanted his facebook page shut down but his mother and I didn't, and we've been keeping it going (not doing anything just checking in on it).
I've changed the email contact to a new address I created because I couldn't get into his... does this mean I'm administrator so they can't memorialize it?
I will be absolutely devastated if his brother or sister request it be memorialised........ 
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Scott, 2 November 1983 - 30 September 2008
Love isn't about finding someone you can live with, it's about finding that someone you can't live without
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dhyana81
Member
Reged: 08/31/09
Posts: 387
Loc: Central PA
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According to the facebook policy, anyone could let them know that the person has died. The way they see it, the information belongs to the dead person, so once they find out from anyone that the person has died, they memorialize the page so that no one can gain access to it and read old e-mails or access other information that only belongs to the dead person. Which is why I brought up what the legalities are, b/c I don't think that there are laws in place that protect who has legal rights to a loved one's virtual stuff like there are with someone's physical stuff.
My advice to you would be to make a copy of everything, e-mails, the 'about me' page, etc. in case someone goes and changes it without letting you know.
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Pete... Dec 18, 1976- July 11, 2009.
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One. --City of Angels
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